About Cliff Kapatais

I have never starred in any major television events. My furnishings are simple and modest, consisting of strategically placed cardboard boxes and various assemblages of discarded rubbish found in the dumpster at work. I drink alcoholic beverages. I smoke. I ingest various pharmaceuticals into my bloodstream for the sole purpose of temporary euphoric bliss.

I live off of noodle snacks and 2-liters of refreshments containing mostly citrus acid and “10% real fruit juices!” In university I was lulled to sleep by the nostalgic sounds of the nearby correctional facility, and mental health & drug rehabilitation center. I rarely meet movie stars, famed politicians, or anyone who knew somebody who won the lottery.

I have mastered the long-forgotten Tibetan mystical art of remembering that one is to drink the milk BEFORE the posted expiration date. The laws of gravity constantly assert themselves forcibly on me. Particularly when I’m on the stairs carrying fragile objects. For exercise, I watch TV, walk aimlessly around the local supermarket, and spin around in office chairs until nausea is achieved.

To keep my sanity at a respectable distance, I have spent the last several years memorizing dialogue (complete with stage movements) of various animated movies and television shows, which are then recited at inopportune times and places. Preferably when it’s to strangers with family and/or friends in the room to embarrass. I currently have no social life.


I do have a Canon camera, a couple of computers and an iPhone, so everything is at peace with the world.

Cheers, Cliff.